Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog. - Author Unknown

There’s a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. - Steven Wright

Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. - Woody Allen

Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks. - Eric Sevareid

The English country gentleman galloping after a fox – the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable. - Oscar Wilde

A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

The Promised Land always lies on the other side of the wilderness. - Havelock Ellis

Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fisherman. - P.J. O’Rourke

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. - P.G. Wodehouse

Don’t refuse to go on an occasional wild goose chase – that’s what wild geese are for. - Anonymous

Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines. - John Benfield

At high tide fish eat ants; at low tide ants eat fish. - Thai Proverb

As the poet said, “Only God can make a tree,” probably because it’s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

Every oak tree started out as a couple of nuts who decided to stand their ground. - Unknown

Dear Lord, I’ve been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us… a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird… a social being… capable of actual affection… nuzzling its young with almost human- like compassion. Anyway, it’s dead and we’re gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family… - Berke Breathed, Bloom County Babylon

Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is. - P.J. O’Rourke

Do not insult mother alligator until after you have crossed the river. - Haitian Proverb

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. - Bill Vaughn

It is of interest to note that while some dolphins are reported to have learned English – up to fifty words used in correct context – no human being has been reported to have learned Dolphinese. - Carl Sagan

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure till you know there is no hook beneath it. - Thomas Jefferson.

Marriage: Putting one’s hand into a bag of snakes on the chance of drawing out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Ninety percent of everything is crap. - Theodore Sturgeon

Fishing is a delusion entirely surrounded by liars in old clothes. - Don Marquis

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. - W.C. Fields

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. - L.M. Boyd

If I owned Texas and Hell, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell. - Philip Sheridan

Tripp Holmgrain is an avid outdoorsman and you can quote him on that. Email him at tripp@theoutdoortripp.com.